Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
