Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
