i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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