Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
