We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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