me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
