I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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