her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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