Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize