3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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