where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
