Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
