Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
