I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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