well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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