The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
