Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
