I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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