i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize