Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
