Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
