Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
