why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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