His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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