wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
