Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I supernannyed him into submission
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