i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
