he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
