lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
