he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
