false alarm. still invincible.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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