Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
