shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize