TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
