she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
