Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
