Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize