I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
