Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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