what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
