I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
