They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
