how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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