This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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