No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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