his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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