But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
