dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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