is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
