Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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