I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
BRING THE BAGELS
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize