Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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