some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
false alarm, still single
Randomize
