you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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