After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She's JV to your varsity
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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