Got a toothbrush?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
