He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
