If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
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I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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