You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
