Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
