one two three fourrrrnication!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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