WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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