dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My dick has a subreddit
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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