I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
