from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize