remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
